Interview with East Coast Rebecca

Dear Readers.

I wanted to introduce you to my friend East Coast Rebecca. If you have ever read the other blog, you know that East Coast Rebecca is kind of a bawdier, Americanized Nigella Lawson complete with alabaster skin, raven hair, a knack for entertaining and a great rack. She's also getting married this fall to the ever-hilarious Neal. Along with being a bride, Rebecca spends her days organizing events for a local nonprofit so she really knows her stuff. I wanted to see if there are any tips and tactics she can give us about planning a wedding and hear about how her own wedding planning is going.

Your parties are always a blast and the one event I saw you do professionally, went exceedingly well. So what's your wedding going to be like? Will it be Steel Magnolia-esque? Black tie? Hipster and James Bond cool? (We know Neal has a smoking jacket).

Maybe a month after the engagement, I ran over to my boss and said, "I've figured out what I want the wedding to be like - comfortably elegant." She laughed hysterically, and I knew I was in for months of mocking. My bold pronouncement may have been a touch over dramatic, but I'm trying to stick to the idea. I'd love the spirit of one of our house parties - good food, drink, people, and music - with a little more class. You know, with fewer Jello shots and more flowers.

My one concern is that this designation will leave people in the lurch about what to wear. I hate that as a guest, so I'm hoping my explanation that Neal won't wear a tux but guests are welcome to will guide folks.

So where will you have the ceremony and reception? What criteria did you use for deciding on location?

We're doing the whole shebang at the Aubudon Naturalist Society's Woodend Nature Sanctuary (http://www.audubonnaturalist.org/default.asp?page=514).

From the start we knew we wanted to do the ceremony and reception at the same venue, so my search began with that practical issue as well as others like capacity, being able to choose my own caterer, being fairly close to the District, Metro accessibility, parking, etc. I created a checklist/worksheet sort of thing addressing these issues and filled in the details for each of the venues we were considering. I took the sheet with me and made additional notes when visiting sites.

One thing that sold me on Woodend was the fact that, weather permitting, there's a gorgeous grove where we can do the ceremony (a hemlock grove, no less), but if the weather doesn't cooperate, it's simple enough to just set up the chairs in the building's main hall, which, while not a hemlock grove, is lovely. If you're considering an outdoor ceremony or reception, it's crucial to address inclement weather from the start.

We've all heard the horror stories about caterers, florists, DJ's etc. What should people know about working with vendors? What kinds of things do you look for in hiring a vendor?

Ask around, look at samples of their work (if possible), and talk to references, of course. After that, I recommend trying to work with people you genuinely like. If you have fallen for a specific catering company but don't love the rep you're working with, inquire about working with someone else (this will be more complicated post contract so act quickly; you likely will know immediately whether you've found a good match). Finding someone you communicate with well will make your life so much easier. Challenges that arise (and, oh, they will arise) will be more easily solved if you're not also worried about dealing with someone difficult.

Was there anything you knew as an event planner coming into this that gives you a leg up on all of the other brides?

My primary advantage is already knowing vendors. The other advantage is perspective. I'm keenly aware that lots of things go wrong behind the scenes that the guests never notice. Yet things never grind to a halt - even if equipment is missing or the talent is late or, god forbid (though I've seen it happen), you have 50 more guests than anticipated. My boss has a wonderful theory about how once events begin, we're just flotsam, floating in the largely uncontrollable current. You have to give over to it. I hope to embrace this for my wedding, too. (Wish me luck with that.)

On a related perspective note, I'm registered with all sorts of lame (but unavoidable) wedding websites - The Knot, Wedding Channel, and the like - and they're forever sending me emails that begin with, "Hi REBECCA! Only 93 days to go! Here's what you should be doing . . ." which could inspire a lot a panic if I didn't know better. For example, it's almost three months out, and I don't have a florist. Because I have experience with florists, I know that this is not a big deal, no matter what the Wedding Channel says.

Just a tip - I'm a big fan of Real Simple magazine, and their wedding pages are fantastic. Again, any timeline should be taken with a grain of salt, but they have oodles of downloadable checklists for everything from questions to ask your caterer to photos you'll probably want. If you're looking for wedding porn, hit the usual suspects. If you want useful information, head to Real Simple.

Let's talk ceremony. You and Neal are two of the most creative people I know when it comes to parties. I mean come on, Half Assed Halloween? Awesome. What's the ceremony going to be like? Will this be the time you go all traditional or are there offbeat touches?

A tangent first - because Neal and I cannot afford to invite more than the innermost circle of friends to the wedding, we're doing Half Assed Halloween V: The Wedding Reception the weekend after the wedding proper. I hope to see lots of bloody bridesmaid dresses.

A dear friend we both worked with back in the early days of our relationship (back when the millennium was new) is going to be our celebrant. That's really all we know so far. Every now and again when I'm making menu notes or looking at yet another hairstyle gallery, I think, "Oh right! This is a wedding. We should figure out that bit where we get married." There's been talk of incorporating a Coke (we really love Coke) in the ceremony. I briefly pushed to incorporate Scrabble, but that seems a bit much. We're muddling through. I'll report back if there are any revelations!

Finally, what do you want your guests to remember form the wedding?

How gorgeous I looked! I kid, I kid (though I do hope that's amongst everyone's memories). I just want everyone to have a really good time and be happy. It's what I hope I remember, too.