REALLY ending the radio silence

Sorry everyone, I'm not like Scotte who posts like five times a week. For some reason I just couldn't figure out what to write. Rebecca Mead's One Perfect Day still pissed me off. There are still awesome weddings happening. In fact you have to take a look at this one. Seriously. THEY DID IT THEMSELVES. And it looked a zillion times more elegant than most weddings that spent mad cash.

A more thorough analysis on those weighty subject will be forthcoming but I wanted to give my two cents on an even weightier subject - marriage rights. More specifically, expanding the rights of the unmarried. I think the fatal flaw in all of this same-sex marriage business is that privileging of a married relationship over all other things. We shoot ourselves in the foot when we think marriage is the end all and be all.

There's an article in the Washington Post about the popularity of France's civil unions law, or PACS, among STRAIGHT couples. Yes, straight couples are forgoing marriage for PACS. It appears heterosexual marriage has been doing a good job undermining itself without the help of us gays. Heterosexuals PREFER the legal union without the marriage baggage.

I'm saddened to see a bill in Utah (HB 160) was killed in committee because it does precisely what I think a true "marriage' law should do, expand the rights of couplehood beyond those with a romantic relationships. My relationship with J is no more special than a parent to a child, siblings, or even roommates. As France shows, there are a lot of heterosexual couples who don't want the baggage of marriage. I've heard of this specifically for senior citizens where they don't wanto t lose the social security benefits of a previous marriage to get married again so they end up shacking up.

As much as I love weddings and value my married relationship, I do think there's something wrong with saying the devotion J and I show to each other is worth more rights and privileges than any other twosome. If we have learned nothing as folks living the alternative lifestyle, it should be that family comes in all shapes and sizes. Given that one spouse can die before another, the constellation of people taking care of us at the end of our lives looks less like Ozzy and Harriet and more like the Golden Girls.